The Life of Dayse

Hello World... Where to begin? How to end? My world is turning right side up after being tossed upside down and in many directions for the past year and a half. I stand in the light that’s at the end of the tunnel. The grey clouds have lifted, and the beautiful clear skies adorn my atmosphere. I can finally breathe with peace in my heart. When I was on the radiation table a few months ago, there was a painting on the roof of a beautiful spring clear sky with flowers blooming on both sides. I would always imagine what life would be like if I could be outside at that moment instead of a metal table getting radiated through my body. I would often find myself tearing up...not out of pain, but out of exhaustion. Often, I prayed for a different scenario, where my life wasn't pinned against a wall. Where I could lay in the sun and take in the fresh air without fear of burning my skin or exposing my immune system. Well, the day has come... I AM OFFICIALLY A CANCER SURVIVOR.  I can ...

Hello World, Hip Hip Hooray! What can I say? Radiation is over and it made my day. Ok, that's about all of the rhyming I have in me this early in the morning. LOL. I'm waiting for my second appointment today in Tampa, so I thought I would update the blog. Yes, I still have many appointments in my future, but my daily appointments of getting radiated are over! Praise God! I have been getting radiation since after Thanksgiving until 4 days ago. Tuesday was the conclusion of 6 weeks of radiation. It has been a rough road indeed. All I can say is that God has given me strength to make it this far. When I was inquiring about the side effects of radiation, there were many horrifying and disheartening stories. I was a little afraid of the long term side effects of radiation on my heart and lungs. However, I trusted the Lord to keep them safe. If I was going to be allowed to walk down this road, then I knew God had a purpose for it. He hasn't left me yet, so why would He leav...

Hello World, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Oh boy. I have been looking forward to leaving 2019 behind for good. It has been such an "adventurous" year to say the least. If I could describe the past year, I would need to write an entire book. hehehe. I've actually had many people tell me to write a book. Maybe one day, when I've gathered enough courage to make it happen. Better yet...when God opens doors for me, I'll walk through them. :) Instead, I'm going to describe 2019 as a year of --TRUST. Despite all of my circumstances, I've had to learn to trust God the whole way. Only through that trust in my Savior...my Healer...my Counselor...my Strength...my Waymaker...my Redeemer was I able to make it to the year 2020. As I said my final prayer of 2019 and first prayer of 2020, my heart was overwhelmed with the greatness of God in my life. He's been so good to me! It's hard not to cry when I think of the Lord and all He has done for me. On New Years Eve, I was...

Hello World, I know. I know...it's been awhile. I'm here now. :) Wow, this year has really flown by me. A few days ago, I was going through my camera roll reflecting on the past year. Sometimes it takes us awhile before we can take a moment and digest the past year. Needless to say...it was one tough year. It seemed like I was caught in thrashing waves all year with a few moments of air. There were moments that I felt the storm was over, and then another wave would hit me from an unexpected angle...reminding me that it was far from over. At times, I felt like I would be caught on under a deadly wave, and never return for air...drowning is really one of the worst ways to die in more ways than one. 2019 was my test of faith. I don't know if I passed my test, but I can say I am becoming a different person as this part of my journey comes to an end. I had ups and downs and even more downs, but somehow God would lift me up again. He never let me go even when I messed up over...

Hello World, How time has flown...a lot has happened in the past few weeks. From Moffitt to Mayo Clinic, I've been in and out of hospitals to prepare for surgery. As surgery got closer, people kept asking if I was afraid or nervous. Since the biopsy results, I have been at peace. It was my confirmation that God's miraculous hand had handled my situation. I couldn't bother being nervous or scared, because my Creator was in control. On Sunday before the surgery, I was speaking to a sister in Christ. She asked me how I was feeling about surgery. I responded, "I'm just going to show them that God healed me. They need to see it with their own eyes. I'm at peace." I was a little amazed at how sure I was in my statement, but my spirit was telling me it was going to be ok. Sunday night, God ministered to me in a very special way. I felt His love and word give life and strength to me. He let me know everything was going to be ok, and what I was feeling this who...

Hello World, Thank you for all of the love and support you've shown since hearing about my last chemotherapy treatment! It has been such a great feeling to be free from it. So what's been happening? I am still dealing with chemo damage, but I won't complain because anything at this point is better than being under that treatment. A few weeks ago, I had an MRI. I had requested to be tested before making a decision for surgery. The night before my MRI...I felt anxious. What would I do if the tumor and cancer still appeared on it? Would I allow myself to move forward with this drastic surgery? What if the tumor was gone? Would they believe God had done a miracle? I braced myself for all of it, but I just cried. I know at this point I'm just a big baby. As I cried, I kept talking to God. I felt overwhelmed. I felt vulnerable. I was afraid. I was sad, because I still was feeling pain in the area. I put on worship music and had an honest conversation with the Lord. ...

Hello World, I only have one hour before I pass out on my keyboard. LOL. I'm a teacher now! We have bed times, and mine was an hour ago. hahaha. I wanted to share the good news that has been everywhere, BUT...I need to break it down for you. It's been on my heart the past few days. I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH CHEMOTHERAPY!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! YESSS!!! GLORY TO GOD!!! Ok, I don't want to hurt your eyes with too many exclamations, but boy did it feel GOOD! I have been going through this process since Jan/Feb of this year. It was a long 8 months but I'm finally finished with chemo. Yes, I rang that bell. Ok, but hold on...pause. rewind. Let's go to the morning of my last day. So, I leave my house to meet my friend, who was going to drive me to Moffitt that day. Little did I know what to expect. I pulled up expecting to do the same thing. Hop in the car and drive away on our two hour trip, but that day she parked far away. I was curious, but I didn't think too m...

Hello World,  Wow, so much is happening at one time, and I don't know how to process it all. So, I'll write. :) I wanted to share an experience I had today...well, technically yesterday. Steroids can really keep you up, so you can thank them later. hahaha. I chose this title because I felt this today more than any other time that I've been to Moffitt. This was my second to last chemotherapy session. As we entered Moffitt, the smell of fear, annoyance, exhaustion, and medicine hit me. One session closer to being done with chemo, and one session closer to having to make the biggest decision of my life. So many thoughts hit me as we walked through the door. I don't express these things, because I don't want to be a Debbie downer to anyone who's making time to be with me. Most of all,  I don't want to worry them. Today was different. As we walked towards the blood draw center, a lady was waiting for someone, and my friend recognized her. Little did I kno...

Hello World, I've been quiet. I know. 16 rounds of chemo and 4 more to go - it's been a long journey my friends. Finally, some light at the end of the tunnel...I'm having to make some difficult decisions, and it's not always easy to want to write. I know I should write, because it helps me process my thoughts and feelings. I've had to cope with complete hair loss and effects to my body due to chemo. I always joked that I would look like a bird. LOL. Well, I think I look more like Mr. Clean than a bird, but birds are cute so we'll stick to bird for now. hahaha. Let me just say...this journey is hard. Extremely hard. Sometimes it's gets harder and harder to leave home. Some days I just want to lay in my bed and forget the world exists. Other days, I force myself to get up and live, because I know I have a purpose. A purpose I may not see clearly, but I trust God is carrying out in me. God always knows what you need when you need it. When I didn't expec...

Hello World, I know I've been a bit absent lately. I've been meaning to blog, but these past few months have been a roller coaster for me. Let me catch you up... My first round of chemotherapy did not go well at all. I was in the hospital for 7 hours, and I had two allergic reactions to one of my immunotherapy drugs and the first chemo drug. They had to stop it twice. The first reaction sent cold chills through my whole body. I started to shiver uncontrollably; despite the amount of blankets my sister kept piling on me. When the nurse came in to check on me, she asked me what I was feeling in that moment. After I described it, immediately an entire crew swarmed into the room. I could see them pulling out things quickly and stopping the immunotherapy. They had to bring me back to "baseline." Success. I was able to finish it off. Then they started the first chemo drug, and I only received half of it before my body started to feel itchy and heat. My breathing became ...

Hello world, It's been a minute. I guess...things are getting harder to write about right now. I'm in my feelings lately, and I'm trying to avoid being super emotional all the time. You'd be surprised the things that people say that make you tear up when you're going through a very difficult moment... The past month has been difficult. The past month has been emotional... I've had to make huge changes in my appearance in order to brace myself for what's to come. Well, what I think is "bracing" myself. The process has officially begun my friends. In my "personality A" attempt, I tried to beat it to the punch, and I chopped off my hair. One of the things I felt defined me as a person for the longest time, and now it's gone. I have only had my hair cut this short one other time in life, and it was the saddest day of my life. I cried. This time...I didn't cry, but I could feel the tears building when I thought about it too much....

Hi world. It's been about two months since I've received the diagnosis for my health. I've been wanting to discuss this topic, but I didn't know how to address it without coming off as insensitive to how people process shocking news. As the person going through it, I can say that I've seen all types of reactions. The day I informed my family of the news. Someone  (a non-believer) decided to retaliate saying "where is your God now?"  I was feeling everything at once. One would think that a person found in my condition would be considered very vulnerable. It wasn't until that moment that I had to stop and shake off the discouragement.There was a fire inside that felt a need to defend God. I always think back to Job. If you had the slightest knowledge of the book of Job, then you would know that God was there the entire time. When we see Job restored, we see God glorified. Not people's opinions or theories of how and why...we simply and clearly ...

Hello friends, ...what a tough blow. I know I've been quiet about my process since my last post, but I just needed some time to gain more courage to write.  It seems like my world has started spinning out of control. Sometimes, it's hard to take a moment to breathe with all of the tests, doctor visits, procedure options, questions, etc. Needless to say, it's been overwhelming.  Most may think...well yeah, it's cancer. Actually, I've come to terms with my physical condition. So. No, it's not because it's cancer (at least not completely). The overwhelming aspect of this process has been making decisions about my near and far future. Chemo and surgery take a toll on a body, and I may have to face some of those harsh consequences.  There was a moment last week, where I stood there stuck between two machines, and all I could do was cry for help internally. A few minutes before that exam, I received words of encouragement and love from a believer. ...

Happy New Year. Where do I begin? I guess I could begin by telling you my news. I've been making myself productive in other areas, because I've unconsciously been avoiding this post. Someone asked me recently about my new years resolution. At first, my initial thought was a bit of a Debbie downer, so I refrained from giving such a blunt answer. As I've thought a bit more about that question, I've decided to be more of an open book.  2018 has indeed left its mark... I've had a tumor growing. Since August I've been trying to get answers, and I finally had enough and went to see my specialist in SC. I felt like people were trying to give me bad news, but giving me the run around before delivering it. I stayed positive that this was just another benign tumor. I've had two in my past, so I was not new to this whole process. However, the tumor didn't feel the same. Something inside kept telling me this was different, and it needed to be handled as ...