At A Crossroads

 Hello World, 

How do I begin to explain the feelings I'm having right now? I'm in the middle of a career change, and that means ...interviews, interviews, interviews. I'll let you know making a change in your life in your 30s is not ideal. The job market stinks right now, so I do feel like I'm having to settle for just enough. If you know me, you know that if I don't LOVE it, I won't commit to it. I'm torn. 

 I guess it's part of discovering my genuine interests and goals. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE children, but I don't love teaching enough to commit to it for a life time. At least, I do not feel like I could settle into the teacher role at ONE location forever. I feel like that's more of a retirement goal. 

So what's next Dayse? What's next in my life?

I guess that really depends on the job that decides I'm worth the investment, and the longevity of that position. I can make extreme choices that no one will understand, or I can play it safe. Those are the tough decisions adulting will force you to make. 

Recently, I was asked some really tough questions in a second interview. He asked me, "what's your passion?" It was an unexpected question, but a question I've been asking myself for the past few months. I've come to ONE conclusion about passion. 

Passions can fade. Burnout. Disappear. Disappoint. While many think of it as a driving force for them ( and perhaps it is to some extent), I think emotions such as passion can be very deceiving. You may feel on top of the world for one minute, and the next you realize the feeling of invincibility has disappeared and you're left asking, "am I really passionate about it?" Passion is not a guarantee. So what do you do when you've lost passion? You adult. 

You realize that passion may pull you toward interests and subjects, but passion must be matched with diligence and dedication. Otherwise, when you lose it, you'll lose yourself. Your sense of being won't make sense if you depend on emotions. How diligent and dedicated are you to make your dream come true? How determined are you to work for the sustainability of your "passion"? 

You can apply the concept of diligence and dedication to just about anything in life. Your relationships, your career, your beliefs, etc. So while, I may have passion for many things in life, I like to focus on my interests instead of passion. We can see this as christians. We are so on fire for God when we first give our lives to Him, but then we feel that "passion" fade. Why? We depended on our passion to carry our relationship with the Lord, when in reality, it should have been our dedication and diligence that built our foundation with Him. 

Passion may have pulled you to Him, but did you balance it? Balance is something we must be master. Even as a child, we stumble, we fall, we get back up until we master balance. In our spiritual journeys, we must also stumble, fall, and get back up until we master balance. In life, you'll go through the same thing. You'll stumble, fall, and get back up. Let passion initiate your decision, but also understand that you'll have to work hard to master balance. It's adulting. It's understanding everything we chose to do must come with balance. 

Yes, I may be at a crossroads right now, but I know everything works for my good, because I love the Lord. I may not have clarity on my decisions yet, but I have the security that God has given me promises, and plans for my future. No matter which way I chose to go, God has a plan. God has a purpose, and I'll have to be diligent and dedicated. So if you're like me, making all these adult decisions and changes, don't lose heart. One way or another, you'll find you're way to exactly where you're supposed to be...Jeremiah 29:11.

Love, 

Dayse