Rejection leads to Reflection

 Hello beautiful people, 

I know. I'm slack, but I promise I have good reasons. Living life is one of them, but I also tend to do things behind the scenes that only a handful of people know about...well knew about. I'm about to be very vulnerable with you. Remember the last post about passion?...well, a lot has happened since that post. I even went back to read it today, and I am grateful for the post. I needed to hear those words again. Last night, I was talking to my good friend, and I realized that I don't have a passion. (We already knew that Dayse...duh. LOL) Little did I remember about my post regarding passion. I was getting a little bored with one of my current jobs (yes, jobs), and I was contemplating changing my job. As I was waiting for my study session to begin, I sat in my car and researched "how to find my passion." I took a mini test, and the results were spot on. It described me down to the smallest detail. I was mainly tickled, but I was inspired after talking it through with my friend...Inspired enough to have lunch, and a nap under the trees and sunny skies...LOL. What can I say? I'm spontaneous. :) Today as I lay for a nap under the trees (not literally on the ground), I looked up and saw the most beautiful scenery of a crystal clear sky with a tree that had lost most of it's leaves. The leaves were a bright red, and the breeze made them shimmer so vibrantly in the sun. 

All of this came to pass as a result of being rejected from what I thought was my dream job in a foreign country. Don't worry, I haven't given up the idea of going abroad, but the rejection letter made me step back and reflect. Am I willing to keep trying after going through a year and a half long task of applying, writing essays, lesson plans, working to save money, researching the country, going through an intense interview, preparing family and friends for the move, and learning the language? Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? Am I investing into the right career? Let's just say the rejection came with a lot of reflection. I'll be honest. I've been in a funk since the rejection letter, but I just kept living each day to my best ability. I cried a little here and there. I was upset a lot. I felt defeated. I don't take rejection lightly, especially when it comes with zero explanations. 

As I lay there today reflecting, the trees and skies above me looked familiar. It was like Déjà vu. "I've been here before, but under different circumstances, " was my thought. I went back to the radiation table 4 years ago. I remember seeing the most beautiful skies which were placed on a screen saver above me. As I lay there, I recall thinking how much I wished for a second chance at life. I recall wanting to live my life off the radiation table. I recall everyone telling me how terrible radiation would be. I recall the doctor telling me the treatment would age me and my heart 10 years. I recall thanking God for life, but also not understanding life. I recall trusting God. Everything was out of my control, and I had nothing left but to trust the Lord. (getting a little emotional here...hold on let me gather myself...)

So, I was able to just talk to God in that moment. I thanked Him for life. I thanked Him for bringing me through the cancer process. Even though I may not understand what is happening in my life, I find myself trusting Him again. Everything is out of my control again.  I do not want to live the rest of life in regret, so I am trusting in His will and plan. I asked Him for a sign. Just speak to me and no one else. I don't need anyone else to minister to me. I need to hear your voice. In that moment, I saw how the leaves were changing colors and the tree was being left bare. I felt God tell me, "My people are like these leaves on the tree. Few remain in this cruel world, but pay attention to their purpose. You admire their beauty, but they serve many purposes. No matter when they land, they continue to serve a purpose. Many provide warmth, shelter, and the sign of hope for change. I know where they need to land when it's their time to serve their purpose." In that instant, I asked, "Lord, what do you want me to do? Please do not let me live with regrets. I may have my own desires and dreams, but where do you want me? What will you have me do? Show me a sign. Any sign." I didn't even finish my sentence, before a plane came out of no where. I felt peace. I felt a response. I could be wrong, but nothing gave me more peace at that moment than the sight of the airplane. Out of all days, and out of all places...I felt travel is in my near future. So I asked "when?", and I could clearly hear a voice tell me, "soon." 

Perhaps God is keeping me from suffering, stress, or dangerous circumstances...who knows? One thing is for sure. He's never steered me wrong. He's never left me. He always thinks of me. Why would I let rejection discourage me from trusting Him? I won't. You shouldn't either. Maybe life isn't going the way you planned, but one thing is for sure. All things work together for the good of those who love Him. Even the unexpected no's. So don't give up yet, because God is not finished with you. Simply tune your ear to His voice and direction. In due time, we will be able to testify of His greatness in our lives as we have been this whole time. We will look back and realize it was all part of His perfect plan for our lives and His purpose. Sometimes God just wants us to realize that no amount of degrees, certifications, acquired skills, and experience determine our success, He does. He humbles us in order to glorify His name. Maybe I'll look back at this post in a few months or years, and I'll testify of God's hand in my life yet again. I pray you will have good news to share as well! You'll land where God needs you. I'll land where God needs me. 💖 Keep praying and pressing forward, your time will come! 

Love, 

Dayse