Now my eyes have seen You...
Hello World...
Where to begin? How to end?
My world is turning right side up after being tossed upside down and in many directions for the past year and a half. I stand in the light that’s at the end of the tunnel. The grey clouds have lifted, and the beautiful clear skies adorn my atmosphere. I can finally breathe with peace in my heart.
When I was on the radiation table a few months ago, there was a painting on the roof of a beautiful spring clear sky with flowers blooming on both sides. I would always imagine what life would be like if I could be outside at that moment instead of a metal table getting radiated through my body. I would often find myself tearing up...not out of pain, but out of exhaustion. Often, I prayed for a different scenario, where my life wasn't pinned against a wall. Where I could lay in the sun and take in the fresh air without fear of burning my skin or exposing my immune system. Well, the day has come...
I AM OFFICIALLY A CANCER SURVIVOR. I can take in the fresh air. I can sit in the sun without fear. I can say like Job, "My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you."
May 8th, 2020 marks the end of chemotherapy, a massive surgery, radiation, and immunotherapy...it marks the end of my cancer treatment.
Wow.
THANK YOU GOD!
On Friday, I had a pep in my step as I entered Moffitt Mckinley Outpatient Center for the last time for a treatment. I've entered this building so many times...but that day... it was the most beautiful sight. I cried during my commute, but a smile came over me as I checked in. I couldn't be happier to be there. I had to wait on many things, but it felt like not a minute had gone by. I just sat there and reflected on all of my trips to this place, and all of the wonderful people I met. I thought of the amazing people who supported me throughout this journey, and how God held me the whole time. I was not allowed to bring anyone with me, but it didn’t matter, I needed to be alone with God.
God was with me when I started this journey, and He was there to help me finish it. ALL THE GLORY TO GOD!
As I went in for my last infusion, the nurse asked me how many more I had left. I announced that it was my last one. He asked me to ring the bell one more time in celebration. I agreed. Another nurse asked me what I was going to do to celebrate the end of this journey...I hadn't thought about it. At that moment, I was just happy to be done, but I didn't even think to celebrate it. LOL. I mean coronavirus didn't help the situation, so I'll just have to hold out a little longer to celebrate. At any rate, a parade of nurses and CMA's walked out with me to watch me ring the bell.
It was a very intimate moment. I slowly approached the bell as if it were the only thing in the room. I can't tell you who else was present, but it was a room full of people. I didn't prepare a speech or anything, but as I got closer and touched the rope I took in a deep breathe, and the words, “thank you Lord" came out as I rang the bell. I felt those words deep in my soul. I didn't know what to say, but my soul did. It was God and me in that moment. All of a sudden, the room came alive and everyone cheered and clapped their hands. There was a full house, and I had completely blocked them out!
I waved goodbye, and I went downstairs. I couldn't stop smiling. As I was leaving, I saw the nurse that had discovered the majority of my allergies and had taken such good care of me for most of my time at Moffitt. She hugged me, and an overwhelming feeling came over me. I began to cry. I made it. I made it! I MADE IT!
She had been one of the few to remind me to take it God, so hugging her felt like closure of this chapter. She may not realize the impact she had on my life, but I will always keep her in my heart and prayers. It's amazing how even through moments of despair God always places the right people, the right place, and at the right time.
Yes, this journey was hard. Yes, I wanted to let go. Yes, there were dark days. Yes, I became tired. Yes, fear came over my life. Yes, I lost some things and some people. Yes, I doubted...
BUT...
GOD had to show me that with Him ALL things are possible. With Him, I could make it through. With Him, the dark moments would bring BEAUTIFUL days. In Him, I could rest. In Him, I could trust. Everything that I had lost on the way, GOD multiplied with other things and people. With Him, I would see the purpose of this journey.
Truly, my eyes have seen HIM.
GOD DID IT! God is my REDEEMER! My heart rejoices! It's over. It's finally over. PRAISE GOD! *sigh* I can breathe.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation...trust me...trust GOD. He can bring you through it! YOU WILL SEE HIM!
Love,
Dayse
Where to begin? How to end?
My world is turning right side up after being tossed upside down and in many directions for the past year and a half. I stand in the light that’s at the end of the tunnel. The grey clouds have lifted, and the beautiful clear skies adorn my atmosphere. I can finally breathe with peace in my heart.
When I was on the radiation table a few months ago, there was a painting on the roof of a beautiful spring clear sky with flowers blooming on both sides. I would always imagine what life would be like if I could be outside at that moment instead of a metal table getting radiated through my body. I would often find myself tearing up...not out of pain, but out of exhaustion. Often, I prayed for a different scenario, where my life wasn't pinned against a wall. Where I could lay in the sun and take in the fresh air without fear of burning my skin or exposing my immune system. Well, the day has come...
I AM OFFICIALLY A CANCER SURVIVOR. I can take in the fresh air. I can sit in the sun without fear. I can say like Job, "My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you."
May 8th, 2020 marks the end of chemotherapy, a massive surgery, radiation, and immunotherapy...it marks the end of my cancer treatment.
Wow.
THANK YOU GOD!
On Friday, I had a pep in my step as I entered Moffitt Mckinley Outpatient Center for the last time for a treatment. I've entered this building so many times...but that day... it was the most beautiful sight. I cried during my commute, but a smile came over me as I checked in. I couldn't be happier to be there. I had to wait on many things, but it felt like not a minute had gone by. I just sat there and reflected on all of my trips to this place, and all of the wonderful people I met. I thought of the amazing people who supported me throughout this journey, and how God held me the whole time. I was not allowed to bring anyone with me, but it didn’t matter, I needed to be alone with God.
God was with me when I started this journey, and He was there to help me finish it. ALL THE GLORY TO GOD!
It was a very intimate moment. I slowly approached the bell as if it were the only thing in the room. I can't tell you who else was present, but it was a room full of people. I didn't prepare a speech or anything, but as I got closer and touched the rope I took in a deep breathe, and the words, “thank you Lord" came out as I rang the bell. I felt those words deep in my soul. I didn't know what to say, but my soul did. It was God and me in that moment. All of a sudden, the room came alive and everyone cheered and clapped their hands. There was a full house, and I had completely blocked them out!
I waved goodbye, and I went downstairs. I couldn't stop smiling. As I was leaving, I saw the nurse that had discovered the majority of my allergies and had taken such good care of me for most of my time at Moffitt. She hugged me, and an overwhelming feeling came over me. I began to cry. I made it. I made it! I MADE IT!
She had been one of the few to remind me to take it God, so hugging her felt like closure of this chapter. She may not realize the impact she had on my life, but I will always keep her in my heart and prayers. It's amazing how even through moments of despair God always places the right people, the right place, and at the right time.
Yes, this journey was hard. Yes, I wanted to let go. Yes, there were dark days. Yes, I became tired. Yes, fear came over my life. Yes, I lost some things and some people. Yes, I doubted...
BUT...
GOD had to show me that with Him ALL things are possible. With Him, I could make it through. With Him, the dark moments would bring BEAUTIFUL days. In Him, I could rest. In Him, I could trust. Everything that I had lost on the way, GOD multiplied with other things and people. With Him, I would see the purpose of this journey.
Truly, my eyes have seen HIM.
GOD DID IT! God is my REDEEMER! My heart rejoices! It's over. It's finally over. PRAISE GOD! *sigh* I can breathe.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation...trust me...trust GOD. He can bring you through it! YOU WILL SEE HIM!
Love,
Dayse
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