His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways...

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Hello World, 

Wow, so much is happening at one time, and I don't know how to process it all. So, I'll write. :) I wanted to share an experience I had today...well, technically yesterday. Steroids can really keep you up, so you can thank them later. hahaha. I chose this title because I felt this today more than any other time that I've been to Moffitt. This was my second to last chemotherapy session. As we entered Moffitt, the smell of fear, annoyance, exhaustion, and medicine hit me. One session closer to being done with chemo, and one session closer to having to make the biggest decision of my life. So many thoughts hit me as we walked through the door. I don't express these things, because I don't want to be a Debbie downer to anyone who's making time to be with me. Most of all,  I don't want to worry them.

Today was different. As we walked towards the blood draw center, a lady was waiting for someone, and my friend recognized her. Little did I know that she would be a window of hope for me. She was waiting on her mom, a cancer survivor. She was coming in for a check up, and we just happened to run into her as she was leaving Moffitt. As soon as she found out why I was there, she began to speak words of courage, peace, hope, and gratitude...everything opposite of my feelings...and I just smiled as she spoke. I smiled, so I wouldn't break down. She shared her experience and God's glory in her life. SHE'S A BELIEVER. SHE WAS TESTIFYING WHAT I NEED TO HEAR IN THAT MOMENT. She has been free of this cancer for a year. It was her anniversary. It was a smack in the face from heaven. LOL. Then she turned to me and told me, "when you come out of this you will testify of God's work in your life, and people will look at you in admiration. This is an amazing place and there are God fearing people in this hospital. God's got you covered. He's surrounding you with the right people." (Noooo, please don't make me cry. *my thoughts in that moment*) As I really cry now. lol. I could feel tears building up and my face turning red. I responded "amen." I looked down, because I realized my mentality was in the wrong place. He came to remind me of His purpose with me. He used this vessel to be a blessing in my life. Her exact words were "we were praying on our way here from Ocala asking God to allow us to be a blessing to someone today and here we are." Wow. Wow. Wow.

God really sends angels. She was an angel and the way she spoke was so encouraging. When our conversation ended...I felt lifted. I felt motivated. I felt grateful. I felt surrounded by angels. Not just this courageous woman, but my friend who sat by me. She has been one of the greatest supporters throughout this journey. I am grateful. I began to think about my regular nurses, and how they have been so good to me. How, despite my battle with some of the decisions made about my health, I know they are here to help me. They want to give me the best chance to live. I thought back to the lady who did my initial tests, and how she testified to me of God healing people of cancer. She spoke life into me as I cried and she held me. Yes, I've had some complications, but God helped me the entire time. God helped me... placing angels over me and keeping me. How could I forget any of it? How could I forget how much grace and favor He's placed over me? How could I forget the amount of supporters that have gone out of their way for me? How could I forget how He's comforted me in my loneliness when nobody could understand? How could I forget how He's kept me with a healthy appearance? Wow. I needed to experience today...things are making sense. Purpose is making sense. Plans are making sense. God is making sense.

I heard a preaching earlier this week. When gold is put through the fire, the impurities come to the surface and only in the fire can they be easily removed. The word was for me. All of it was for me. He's perfecting me in more than one way, and it's hard. Hard doesn't mean impossible just a little painful. I'm here. No matter how much longer this journey may last, I'm all here for it. Blessed be the name of the Lord at all times. For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. -Psalms 91:11 I am forever grateful.

Love,
Dayse


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